The Panoptic leak

“He catches me watching and winks like we're co-conspirators in his effort to pull this girl. “p30

"“He turned and saw me, his little face breaking into a smile. “Hiya,” he said. “You're the lady from the window.” I flushed in shame, turning my face away, though I shouldn't have done. I was the creepy lady who spied on her neighbors from the window; I might as well embrace it. »" p34

“The imam’s eyes scan the crowd, a benign smile on his face. Every so often, his eyes fix on me, following as I move from stand to stand. Dark eyes tracking me, but when I look at him, they dart away to watch the rest of the courtyard.”p48

". There is a boulder in my throat, I open my mouth, try to push a word out, a syllable even, but there is nothing but a guttural (p85) sound, like choking.. “Can I help?” the voice asks again. Yes, you can fucking help. Trace this call and come and help.”p84

"« Ruth sees me in her periphery, turns her pinched face my way, sees me sitting there trembling, with snot and tears streaking my cheeks and mouth. Her lip curls and her nostrils flare in distaste, and she turns back to watch the attack until the police arrive with their competing sirens and wails and flashing lights »" p85

""““Can I come?”(Chloe to Rana) I shake my head; hard, vigorous shakes, so that my short black uneven waves whoosh back and forth across my face. No one comes to my flat. Ever. It’s my place, my sanctuary, my hiding hole. It is the only place, in the entire world, where I feel halfway safe. So no, she cannot come; no one can come there.”p93

““I saw you last night, on the balcony. I’ve seen you there before, watching and scowling at him. You care, I know you do. My mind retorts that she clearly doesn’t, or she would have tried . to intervene with her parents or phoned the police herself rather than wait for the neighbors to do it. »p93

"His face (Adam) breaks into an easy smile, eyes locking on mine for a moment before he turns his attention back to the girl” p101

"“What do they see, the people in the windows, when they look into mine? I try to project myself, release this body and all the things that weigh it down, soar over concrete, and inhabit some space over there. I imagine looking out, seeing through the eyes of _ another. What is it they see in West Tower, fourth floor, flat three?.. She lives alone… Heavyset, naked she looks like a Rubens, with rolls and folds and thick thighs. There is a quill tattooed on her left shoulder, the black feathers wrapping up so the tip curves over towards her neck…. Her flat overflows with books…. » p102

“Across the way, No-Lights-Man is on his balcony. He’s watching me" p120

“He turns the pad to me again, eyes locked on my face. I dont think you are (mute) I think you can talk. »p123

"“I screamed. One long, loud cry as my body convulsed beneath him. He looked down at me, face and neck and shoulders damp with sweat, with triumph" p124

“There’s a knock at the door, and I flinch and drop my pen, hands covering the papers. I stare in disbelief,.. Why is there knocking? No one knocks.”p155

« For many long minutes, perhaps hours, I’m unable to process this comment. I just sit there, in front of the laptop, blinking over and over while I try to understand it. A series of furious urges come over me: to throw the computer out of the window, »p169

“Perhaps a relapse is coming. I don’t know. Instead of silence, I now feel filled with a screaming rage that burns along my nerves like wildfire and threatens to burst. »p173

“I know he’s here. I saw his light on, saw him walking around the flat in his black shorts with his chest bare. I’m not here for a meal. »p173

“Up in the East Tower, the Juicer is at his window. He winks at me and pulls the curtain closed. » p214

“Pushing everything else aside, I pull out more and more sketches.. And then there are the people in the windows. Us. I am not the only one watching, it seems.”p218

“Then there’s one of me. Standing at my window, not on the balcony, palms pressed to the glass, eyes open in terror, mouth covered with a wide, white strip of tape. Hair wild around my head, like Medusa. The sketch is surrounded by blackness, as though the paper had been black and the drawing erased out of it. As though a bolt of lightning had illuminated this one fragment of time before plunging us all back into darkness. »p222

“When did I become so entangled in the lives of these people? Why? It was easier before, when I just watched from the window, when I knew nothing and no one saw me. Some of them saw you, my mind whispers, thinking of Adam and his sketches and all of what he must have seen. It was all so much easier before. »p226

“It washes over me, the knowledge that I slept through the night with not one but two strangers in my flat—the one place in the world where I feel halfway safe. »p231

““You're the one who's been writing those pieces,” he says, turning to me now. “The Voiceless. Of course you are. Neil started showing them to me weeks ago, said he was desperate to get in touch with the writer, but that the magazine wouldnt’ give out any information.”.. “You're brilliant.” I blush, looking down, fingering the blanket that covered us the night before. I have a sudden feeling of unreality, that this is a’ fragment of a dream, a reality in which I am normal with a normal life and a normal partner and everything is . . . normal. »p231

« Finally he blows out a puff of air and rises to his feet, turning to leave. “Well, at least I’m doing something, not hiding behind easy. words on the internet.” They’re only words. They shouldn't feel like a blow. But they do. »p234

"". He'll see it on me, the way people here see things in me that I don’t want them to see. »p245

“There are eyes everywhere. The people in the windows. ‘They all see me. All those eyes picking me apart like vultures. »p253

“I can’t help watching them. I tell myself that watching these’ people is what got me into this mess to begin with, that everything was fine before, »p264